Thursday, February 12, 2009

Night Two.

Two nights in a row? 
Yes- Please.

I'm falling into things. They're just happening. 
I'm happy. 
I smile more.
I cry less.
I'm being challenged... and I'm growing.

I'm hiding my anxieties. I don't know why I wasted so much time acknowledging them in the first place.
I poured out my heart to one trusted youth pastor, and all of a sudden my insides feel good.

I think I have a crush on a boy.
Or- I think a boy has a crush on me.

I don't think I'll ever do anything about it... but I can't picture myself turning down a chance to get to know him. It's flattering (right, liv?).

I think Ula and Olivia are the only ones who read this... which makes me happy to know. Because Ula and Olivia are more than enough. And by Ula, I mean "Max." (tee hee).

A part of me is missing a part of 'someone' else... but I'm trying to deny it and force the feeling away. But, I do miss our conversations and heart felt relationship. Maybe one day we'll want it back.

I've decided that if I could have any power over my body I would design a remote control that turns on and off the female menstrual cycle. Jack and I were talking about this today. But, it would be so nice to have control over it. If I had a lazy day where I know I had nothing that needed to be done- I'd deem that day "period day." And, I'd just have to make sure that I get in 3-5 of those days a month. That'd be nice.

I'd never name my kid: Ida.
I like the names Harmony and Oliver.
And Connor ; )

ps. doesn't that picture/phone thing look like a person?
What would you name it ?

I'll go listen to music and fall asleep now.

1 comment:

Ula said...

How dare you imply that I read your blog....