Monday, February 23, 2009


I realize this is excessive... two posts in one day... two posts in 6 hours? 
Holy crap- FREAKAZOID.

I've had a rough one, and I figure it'll be good for me to vent to the unresponsive internets. My head and heart have been filling with memories lately. I've been allowing too much nostalgia in, and not focussing on what's happening now. This is weighing me down. 

There's so much of me that's desperate to see that side again. So much of me who wants to reach out to you. I want to tell you what I see in you now, and hope that you may not want to be that person. I want to grab you by the hand and care for you.
But, I know it's not good. 
For you or I.

Have you ever wondered when there comes a point where you just "give up"? Is there ever a point that someone just doesn't deserve the love you're willing to give anymore? 
I don't think there is. I don't think I could ever rationalize the theory strong enough to convince myself that you're undeserved, or that I'm unwilling. 

Everything is splendid. But, I'm internalizing the past. Placing blame. Looking for explanations. 
It's probably just something that is happening today, and tomorrow I'll forget all about it. I won't dwell, but I can't forget. 

I got a little bit of lonely mixed in with all this busy. 
And that's throwing me off.

I feel so strong. So, we'll just call today, "A bad day." 

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