Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Unorganized Chaos

Hello Hello Hello [I think it's appropriate I keep a theme of 3 in every posted blog. I feel like 3 is a good number... We've got the trinity, the 3 amigos... but anyway, on with this nonsense]. 

I hope that people (most of which non existent) reading this won't be insulted by the lack of order and organization that is to come. I have no motivation as to what to write and no deep dark insightful World understandings to publish. I guess I'll just talk about whatever is hidden in my subconscious. That's always awkward and vulnerable and entertaining.

With our recent election of the gorgeous, the inspirational, the beacon that is Barack Obama my thoughts are instantly drawn to hope. Hope is such a powerful force, that is often overlooked by our focus on rationality and reality. Barack Obama is new hope. He's a new vault to put our hearts and trust into. He's just great... exactly what the doctor ordered. Every class I have right now is mostly focussed on people. I'm hoping to double major in psychology and religion and have been finding stronger parallels between the two than I ever would've dreamed of. Our deepest desires as humans... our strongest subconscious pulls... that many-a psychologists are constantly attempting to figure out... and many philosophers are constantly trying to analyze and construct... have been answered in the beautiful simplicity that is faith and hope, and for lack of better definition, religion.
One of the greatest and strongest things we can give to one another is hope and belief. What good is a relationship that doesn't exhibit trust and love for one another? Isn't that what it's all about? We need to have faith that people are capable and potentially even created to be great. We need to encourage all that good ole' fashion love stuff. Can't hurt, right? I'm a little girl who values relationships to points beyond measurable. And the ways of the universe are shifting my tides of comfort that have been so steady and consistent for so long. I would never say that I've "misplaced" my faith in people, but my faith is definitely being tested in a good chunk of people I've put love into. Maybe there's such a thing as loving people too much? I want to deny those thoughts though. I'd like to think that the only possible variable in that equation that could be getting hurt would be the person exemplifying so much love... and potentially just draining themselves. There are relationships that I have put nothing but love and acceptance into that have all of a sudden vanished... and not by my choice. I could fight harder. I could give more. I know I have it in me. But, I'll sit back and let time play these out. I'll continue to have faith in these friends who I know are beautiful people who are just overwhelmed with outward pressures and inward confusion. I'll have hope that they find themselves and convey themselves as accurately and positively as possible... whether that involves my activity and support in their life or not. Maybe that's where a cliche, "if you love someone, let them go" phrase would fit in. Who writes those things anyway? 
I'm addicted to love. 
And no addiction is healthy... But, I feel like this self-inflicted addiction can only be hindering to myself. I can only give too much of MYSELF, and therefore can only hurt me. But it's a beautiful cycle, because giving love also strengthens me. It more than strengthens me. It charges me. I like being charged. I like people who have faith in me. I like people who are capable of loving. AKA EVERYONE : )
I would be talking about this.
It's all I can talk about lately.

Maybe that's because it's all that makes sense, and what I'm most confident in.
I'm confident that by giving love... I can injure no one. And injuring no one sounds like a desirable course of action. 

Anyway... I think I was going to connect religion in there somewhere. But, it mostly does it itself. 
Agape love.
Yes, Please.

If nothing else... my dog gives me agape love. She's cool.

I'm just clinging onto hope.
Barack Obama.

:: sigh ::
What a man.

What else to talk about? MUSIC. Music is cool slash my life. 
Actually, I'm gonna call this first ever blog attempt a wrap, and go spend some quality time with my roommate. 
Sorry for sucking at blogging... I'm a noob.

1 comment:

Byron said...

LIES! This is your SECOND attempt!

But I must shout TRUTH'S at your blog. Love and hope are the two strongest forces, at least IMHO. Oh and Barack is a hunk, and is the source of my newfound hope.